Come and Explore the Many Sides of Elizabeth! ...Unless You're Allie
My title is in reference to my new laptop. Well, it's technically not mine but it might as well be,I mean seeing as though it's in my room and I am, in fact, the one using it most of the time. I know, I'm a spoiled brat. Live with it.
Well, as I was saying, my title deals with an amusing little anecdote about Ebeneezer the schitzophrenic computer (who I believe may be related to the school xerox machine), his trusty pooch, Scotty the over-protective mother of a watch dog, and Pinky, the pink squirrel who eats nuts. (NOTE: All of the animals that I have referred to are little firewalls that don't let me get anything without a barrage of warnings and little codes I have to deal with.) (Oh, and Pinky really isn't in any of these stories, I just thought that a pink squirrel was fairly entertaining.) Now, this little laptop of mine has some serious issues with things that are and aren't real as well as things that are and aren't on it. For example: this afternoon I was testing this baby out by multitasking (as Allie would put it) and playing about 8 games at a time while doing my German internet project and a vanity search. It was doing remarkably well until I was reading about how I was a professor of anthropology at Albion Colledge.
"Error: Webster Medical Encyloedia cannot run due to a failure to load (insert some computer mumbo-jumbo here)"
"What little computer?" I ask, trying to figure out why on earth there is an encyclopedia thingy making my computer mad when there wasn't a medical encyclopedia on my computer.
"I told you! The Medical reference thingy is being mean!"
I say, "But Ebeneezer, you have no medical reference thingy anywhere in or on you."
"Oh, yes I do!" says my poor, misguided bit of technology gone horribly wrong. "It's being mean!"
"Ok, where is it then?" I ask, in hopes of helping my troubled friend.
"I can't show you," it responds.
"Why not?"
"Because the Super-Judo-Ninja-Knitting-Fighters are reading our minds as we speak with their endless supply of radioactive eggplants that operate throught the medical encyclopedia! If we let them through, they'll use their waffle iron warmers to take over the world!"
I told you it was a schizo.
Now for the real story of the hour (which I'm willing to bet will be much shorter than this last one) took place around 9:00 pm. I had recently installed AIM and Weatherbug to this computer and was about to use it. However, Scotty my "watch dog" had other ideas.
"I have detected a new passport to get to the internet!" He stated proudly.
"I know. I added it," I responded.
"WHAT!?!?!?!?!?! You consiously ADDED a new port that has access to the internet!?! Don't you realize how dangerous that is!?! People could talk to you and send viruses and worms!?!?!?! Didn't you hear about the worms that were going around!?! They could delete all of Ebeneezer's files!!!!"
"Would this happen to include the medical encyclopedia?" I inquired.
"Good point," said Scotty and I was able to use my AIM.
Later on I wanted to see what the weather would be like tomorrow, to I opened weatherbug.
"Why must you torment me so?" moaned Scotty prior to asking me whether or not I wanted to keep my weather update dealy. Now, I have the feeling that Scotty has had some had some bad experiences with bugs in the past because he really had some issues with this being on Ebeneezer. I'm envisioning a sort of cyber-sword fight/light saber duel between my little Scottish Terrier and a giant ladybug. Poor Scotty never had a chance. And so, a very beat up, tired dog finally sent a little pop-up asking if I wanted to keep this weather service and I said yes.
"WHAT!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!," he exclaimed (I was having some serious deja vu at this point). "I just had a Star Wars-esque fight seqence with a giat pansy of an insect and you're telling me you want to KEEP IT!?!?!?!?!"
"Yes."
"Aye..." and I'm still hearing about, even as you read.
Pretty Funny! Made me laugh out loud! ((what?! Allie being nice?!)) Now go die shit head ((didnt think so)) 
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